"Wayworn Traveler"
2003 Pokey Records
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Chat Rooms

words and music by Kim Townsend
© 2002 (ASCAP)

So far as you know, I am beautiful
as far as you know, I stand five-foot-ten
You believe that I look great in Spandex
you’re obviously clueless that I’ve got four chins

You’re under the impression I’m a well-known international bikini model
with an all-over tan and that I’m really stacked
I suppose you presume that my locks are long and blonde
but the truth is my roots are dark like the hair on my back

Oh, how I love chat rooms I love ‘em I love ‘em!
‘cause nobody knows who I am
I type in my fantasy looks, weight, and measurements
while sitting here eating raw Spam from the can

You surmise that I hold three doctorates
and I translate Portugese opera for fun
You gather from my comments that I’m only twenty-six
but the unvarnished truth is I’m seventy-one

Oh, how I love chat rooms I love ‘em I love ‘em
they’re the best thing since sliced bread
I lounge in my mumu living life through these chat rooms
re-inventing myself without once leaving bed

Oh, you’ll never know
that I’ve got a weak bladder and swig pancake batter
for I won’t disclose
that my waistline is vast and I’ve got chronic gas
and a habit of picking the corns on my toes

Oh, how I love chat rooms I love ‘em I love ‘em
where letters I write make you drool
You call me your honey, and think my name’s Sunny
but my friends call me Raul!