"Wayworn Traveler"
2003 Pokey Records
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Old Lady Fitzhugh

words and music by Kim Townsend
© 2001 (ASCAP)

Rich old lady Fitzhugh
came home from shopping one day
she thanked her chauffeur kindly
(she was a woman of style and grace)

When she stepped inside her mansion,
her butler was standing near.
She looked him up and she looked him down
and whispered, “Follow me, my dear”

So, he trailed her up the staircase
and she beckoned him down the hall.
Then, she nodded towards her bedroom door
and he followed her as she called:

“James, take off my jewelry
please don’t go so slow...
Then pull off my shoes and my hosiery, too
my husband doesn’t need to know"

Now, the butler did her bidding
her wish was his command;
but, when he was through there was more to do
and she took him by the hand:

“Hurry up, James, strip off my dress
my husband’s due home and this place is a mess.
And you’ll be in more trouble than you ever saw
if you don’t move quick and unhook my bra!”

Well, the butler stood there trembling -
his breath came hard and fast,
but Mrs. Fitzhugh knew what to do
and she began to speak at last.

She said, “Between you and me that’s as far as this goes
my husband wouldn’t understand it… heaven knows.
You’d better keep this promise that I propose:
it’s the last time I catch you dressing up in my clothes!”